What can I say?

These.

These here delicious almost deceptively simple cookies will in their appearance lead you to believe that are in fact-–simple–but they are anything but. So before y’all proceed any further you have been warned.

Warned about eating the mix from your spoon, your fingertips, and anywhere else you may have flung a few clumps because you didn’t realize that when they said the dough was sticky. That the dough is ex-act-ly that and just how sticky they meant. 

The dough for biscotti could be used to build a brick and mortar home.

Yes. By definition a thick workable paste. Used to bind together construction. 

Thankfully, looks are deceiving and these.  .  .

Be sure to read the recipe twice. Hell, three times like I had to.

Simple tip: measure out all your ingredients. And please, please be sure to line your baking sheets with parchment paper–first thing.

Because these.

These biscotti are worth the effort.

Pace yourself.

Especially when you are enjoying them with a nice tall pint of Guinness.

Let’s get down to business, shall we? 

Chocolate, Pistachio + Cranberry Moonshine Biscotti

(slightly adapted from Food.com)

Yield: 25-35 biscotti

Prep time: 25 mins

Bake time: 20 mins  (then 3 mins for either side.)

First things, first.

Preheat that dang oven to 350.

Line two baking sheets with parchment paper

Setup your stand mixer with the paddle attachment.

 Measure out the following ingredients:

                                                        Get your mise en place.

Soak a ½ cup of dried cranberries in Midnight Moon Cranberry Moonshine.

Chop ½ cup of unsalted pistachios. Set aside.

Measure out 1 cup 70% dark chocolate chips.

Set out 3 tbsp unsalted butter and 3 large eggs to bring to room temperature.

Measure 1 cup of granulated sugar.  In a large mixing bowl, cream together sugar and butter, 2 to 3 minutes.  Next add your eggs one at a time. Once eggs have been incorporated add in 2 tsp of vanilla extract. Beat for about 30 seconds.

In a separate bowl, whisk together 2 ¾ cup flour, 1/3 cup 60% baking chocolate, 2 ½ tsp baking powder, 1 ½ tsp cinnamon, 2 tbsp ground coffee.

Now incorporate your flour mixture by thirds into the creamed mix.  Next, sprinkle in chocolate chips, moonshine soaked dried cranberries, and pistachios until just combined.

Here’s the work: scrap your very sticky massive mixture onto your work surface. Shape the mixture into a ball and split it in half.  Now–grab those two pieces of parchment paper and work the split dough into 10 to 12 inch loaves (as best you can) by 4 to 5 inches wide. Not too thick as they won’t bake properly.  Sprinkle your loaves with a few tbsps of granulated sugar.

Slide those loaves into the oven.

And…make yourselfa nice stiff drink because you deserve it!

Bake loaves for 20 minutes. Remove from oven.

 Oh, oh, we’re not done.

Allow to cool for 5 minutes–then with a serrated knife slice the biscotti loaves into ½” thick slices. Turn em on their side and place them back into the oven for 3 minutes.  After that 3 minutes is up flip em to the other side for another 3 minutes.

And that. That means you’re done.

Make yourself another drink. Allow them to cool a bit. Then enjoy.